React . . . or Forgive?

React . . . or Forgive?

by Patricia Dailey
Senior Pastor, Bethel Revival Center
43 Norwood St.
Everett, MA 02149

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Matthew 18:21b
Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Before we get into this message, let's look at some definitions which should help us understand what forgiveness really is and what it isn't.

Forgive
cease to feel resentment towards offender(s)

Resentment
feel indignation and displeasure over something regarded as a wrong, an insult, or an injury

Indignation
anger aroused by something unjust, unworthy, or mean

If, perhaps, Satan has worked any of these things in your heart and life, I trust this message shows you how to rid yourself of them in order to have the blessings of God on your soul.

Anger is another thing that can enter our lives through things that others may do to us — wronging us, insulting us, being mean or unjust.

Ephesians 4:27
Neither give place to the devil.

People will open their hearts to these things when someone has done something to them that hurts them. It may be wrong what they did, but that doesn't make it right to react.

Philippians 2:12b
. . . work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

Bitterness in the Heart

We don't want the devil to rob us of having our lives right with God. We want to be found watching and waiting for the coming of the Lord, walking uprightly with Him at all times. We have to watch — because the devil is very deceitful and very sly. He'll pull a fast one on us if we're not careful, causing bitterness to get into our hearts.

Bitterness
distasteful or distressing to one's mind

When we allow bitterness to enter our heart, our mouth will begin to express that bitterness. We'll speak harsh, sharp, sarcastic, cutting words to those we are bitter towards.

I learned very early in my experience that one has to be in the place of forgiving, no matter what anyone does to us. They may talk against us to others or say harsh words to us. Whatever they say or do, we have to be in the place where we are of a forgiving spirit. God told me, No matter which way you go there'll be something wrong with it. You won't ever please all people at all times.

Luke 6:26
Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.

When you please all people there is something wrong with your experience. So we've got to watch that we're not striving to please man. Oh, we'll please some — but, at the same time, others will be displeased with us.

Luke 6:22,23
Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.

We are to rejoice, not allowing bitterness nor resentment get hold of us.

Ephesians 4:31,32
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Let all bitterness and anger go. Don't let bitterness or resentment or anger get hold of you, or it will destroy you.

When someone insults you or does something mean and spiteful to you, begin to pray for the Lord to forgive them. Ask Him to help you to not allow anything to get in your heart against them.

Hebrews 12:14,15
Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled

We need to be looking diligently lest a root of bitterness springing up trouble us, and defile many. The roots of bitterness can get deeply within our heart, and even make our heart hardened. It's just like the roots of a tree, growing deeper and deeper. We don't want that. We don't want to fail the grace of God. We don't want a root of bitterness to get within us and trouble us.

I Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

We have to be on guard. Satan is the enemy of our souls, and is very sly and very tricky as he seeks to devour us. We need to watch that we don't let any root of bitterness or resentment take root in our hearts; watch that we don't allow anger to rise.

Submit to God: Repent and Forgive

James 4:7
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

It's so hard for people to submit themselves. They don't want to submit to any authority. They want to do things in their way and in their time. They want to do things when they want to, not when someone tells them to.

But God's people should want to do things God's way, even if it means suffering for the sake of the Gospel. Follow the Lord daily. In the end you'll receive a crown of life which fadeth not away, and hear Jesus say, Well done, good and faithful servant; enter into thy rest.

When we submit ourselves to God He will give us power to resist the devil. The devil knows if we mean business or not when we resist him. Don't allow him to do as he pleases in your life. Resist every temptation to do evil. Don't let him sneak a fast one in on you; don't give him any advantage over you; don't give him any place in your life. Resist him!

How often are we to forgive?

Matthew 18:21,22
Then came Peter to Him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

It seems that Peter had a hard time in forgiving. He was one who was quick to speak. Here he asks Jesus how often he had to forgive a brother who was sinning against him. Peter forgave — but only because he was commanded to do so. And we, too, are to forgive anyone who wrongs or insults us in any way. But true forgiveness must come from the heart.

If you have bitterness and resentment in your heart towards someone you have to repent of that before the Lord can forgive you. The devil will try to get you to ignore these sins, telling you it's all right to continue on with bitterness and resentment in your heart — after all, look at what that person did to you! But God won't tell you it's all right. He will deal with you to repent.

Why does He deal about sin? Because He loves us. He is not willing that any should perish — but that all should come to repentance.

I John 2:1a,2
And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: and He is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

If you have any resentment or bitterness or anger in your heart, repent. How can you forgive someone when you keep resentment or bitterness in your heart towards them? You haven't really forgiven them if anger arouses towards them or if you're sarcastic and say harsh, sharp, cutting things.

You know if you are guilty of such things; you know when you get upset towards someone; you know how you react; you know what kind of feelings you have; you know what goes through your mind towards another. The only way others would know if you have bitterness is if you spew it out through your mouth.

You've got to repent, having a godly sorrow over that thing, turning away from it, and not saying any more to get even. After you call on the Lord to forgive you, thank Him — and stop allowing that sin to enter your heart and your thoughts and your words. No more! It doesn't matter what someone has done to you or what they have said to you. It's your reaction you have to answer for. Where do you stand with the Lord? What are you doing?

Each of us could be just as bad as anybody else. Our tongue is an unruly member — and sometimes it's pretty hard to control, especially when we get upset.

How do you act when you get upset? What upsets you? When you get upset there must have been something that upset you in the first place. Did somebody say something wrong to you? Did somebody snub you? Did someone pass you by and ignore you, not even saying hi?

What happened to get you upset? Something happened. You don't get upset over nothing. The old human nature cries out, Retaliation! Get even with them! But is that Christ-like? Absolutely not!

Mark 11:25,26
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Forgive — that's what we should be doing. If we have anything against anyone we should forgive them of that thing. When you have ought against someone, you need to be forgiven of that sin. Forgive that one when you pray, and cease to have resentment and bitterness towards them.

But if you don't forgive, neither will your Father forgive you of your trespasses. This is a lesson for all of us, that we don't allow resentment or anger or bitterness in our heart. If we do, we'll be corrected of the Lord because He loves us. And He wants us to be loving, kind, and forgiving to others.

There is to be unlimited forgiveness: just as many times as someone asks you to forgive them, you are to forgive. It doesn't matter how many times they come to you for forgiveness. What else can you do but to forgive? They may have feelings against you and keep coming back to ask you to forgive them, only to walk away with those same feelings — but you are to forgive them, regardless of how many times they come asking for forgiveness.

There are those who get upset over the preaching of God's Word and they get angry at the preacher; they let a root of bitterness and resentment get into their heart. But that shouldn't stop us from preaching the Word. We should be always ready to preach God's Word, whether they want to hear or not.

Yes, people will be offended by the preaching of the Word. They'll walk away in anger and say that the preacher drove them out — when all the preacher was doing was delivering God's Word.

I am not called to compromise God's Word. I'm called to preach the whole counsel of God. I don't want to water down the Scriptures. I want souls to be saved, souls to be right with God. I don't want to stand before God and have Him tell me that I compromised His word, that I sugar-coated it, that I didn't tell them what they needed to hear.

What it's all about is letting the Word of God get down into the nitty-gritty areas of our lives, that we might get prepared to meet the Lord.

When you stand praying, forgive. Don't forget; first of all, if you have any bitterness or resentment or anger in your heart you have to get down before God, asking Him to forgive you. Ask Him to take the resentment, the bitterness, the anger out of you!

A Merciful King

Matthew 18:23-25
Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

Now that was a pretty strong thing — sell your wife and your children to get money to pay what you owe! This man was in a tough spot. And sometimes we may get into a tough spot in our lives. Things can get pretty tight and hard, where we can't keep up with our bills.

Matthew 18:26,27
The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

The king had compassion on this man. He pitied him because of the hard place he was in: and this man fell down and worshipped him, telling him to have patience and he would pay all.

We should be moved with compassion at what others are going through, too. We should pity them and try to alleviate and do what we can do to help them through their hard time. Through facing something like this, a person can get very angry and upset — and, by our being compassionate and willing to come to their aid, they can be deeply touched.

And you know what you can do? Even if they owe you a lot of money, you can forgive them of all that they owe you. Forgive them of all. When Brother Dailey was in business there were people who were having a hard time and owed him money. Brother Dailey forgave them of what they owed; just let it go.

The Unmerciful Servant

Let's look at what this servant did after being forgiven of all he owed.

Matthew 18:28
But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

I hope you're not like this man! Talk about being angry. How do you react? Are you in the place where you forgive? Or are you like this man?

Matthew 18:29
And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

That's what the first man did, and he found forgiveness. All his debt was forgiven. But when the master saw what he did to his fellow servant:

Matthew 18:30
And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

Just think, Jesus Christ forgave us of all our sins — and shouldn't we have compassion on others? Shouldn't we forgive those who trespass against us?

Forgive from Your Heart

Matthew 18:31-33
So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

So it has to come from the heart. Forgiveness has to come from the heart, with genuine repentance — and if not, you will be turned over to the tormenters! You won't have peace. You won't be happy.

This is something to think about: so likewise shall My Heavenly Father do also unto you if you from your heart forgive not everyone who trespasses against you. I'm not adding anything to what Jesus said.

Colossians 3:12,13
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

This is simple. It's plain. It takes mercy and compassion. Let's look at Stephen's example:

Acts 7:54-60
When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth. But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God, and said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord, and cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul.

And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

These men really got upset with Stephen because of what Stephen had told them. He had rebuked them for what they had done. He didn't hold anything back. He spoke the truth — and he lost his life as the result of it. But thank God, he forgave them. They stoned him as he called upon God to not lay that sin to their charge.

Christ Left Us an Example

I Peter 2:21-24
For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow His steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in His mouth: Who, when He was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not; but committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously:

Who His own self bare our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by Whose stripes ye were healed.

We should be following in His steps: they used abusive words against Him — but He did not strike back. He did not retaliate. He took what they dished out and didn't hold hard feelings — but, rather, forgave them.

Luke 23:33,34a
And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

Put This Message into Practice

Go over this message again. Take the Word into your heart and apply it. If you have any of these sinful things in your life, do whatever is necessary to be free.

And, if you don't have any of these things in your heart, be thankful to God.

But take heed that you don't open your heart to allow anything like this to take hold. Know that they are destructive. Keep a forgiving heart towards others, regardless of how many times they offend against you.